The Sad Part  6/16/2015
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I had intended to write about the steampunk weekend we had several weeks ago, but life intruded with all its harsh realities. I will still write that piece, and I apologize to all of the delightful people we met at the Boone County Railroad depot for the delay. What happened is this - those of you who read this blog occasionally may know that my mom had been diagnosed with dementia. I read every day about medical science and the breakthroughs being made in this area, but we watch her fade a little more each day and realize these come too late for her. This blog is in honor of my mother, who she was and who she is now.

I remember her smile and her warmth
Her laughter and joy in her family
I remember hugs and a willing playmate when I was bored
How fastidious she was about her house
Hand-sewn dresses and the curls she spent hours putting in my hair
I remember her fussing over my wedding dress and holding my first born

and the love in her eyes on both occasions

I remember parties and summers in the back yard
Trips to the beach
Barbecue's and Thanksgiving turkeys
And Christmas - her favorite holiday
Her twenty-fifth anniversary, and her fiftieth, and the sixtieth
I remember comfort when I needed it
Discipline when, too often, I deserved it
Love always, unconditional and freely given
Some of this remains
In the fog that shrouds her mind
Between the synapses that no longer fire
my mother lives and breathes but seldom peeks out at me
The smile and warmth are still there
The laughter more often punctuated by frustrated tears
still remains
Sometimes she will surface through the murk
and we dare to hope, to dream
But the reality is she will not come back
only retreat further and further from all she knew and loved
The shell is here
The rest is on a sojourn we cannot make
She is lost in the grim wonderland of her dementia
And we are left to be the keepers of her memories

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